Ode to Sen. Frank Wagner
Damn the clean beaches and healthy seas,
Senator Frank Wagner has Big Oil to please.
Oh all the riches on him they’ll reward
With juicy big contracts to his polluting ship yard.
For he is Frank Wagner, Virginia’s Energy King!
How dare you speak out against uranium mining,
Don’t bother with silly citizen participation.
Only the rich have voices in policy decision.
Voice opposition to the plans he’s conspired?
He’ll go to your employer to get you fired.
Erupting in anger, getting red in the face,
Perhaps noticeable signs of a need for AA.
The road isn’t easy for Big Oil’s prostitute,
Those treehuggers in Virginia can be so resolute.
But who better to champion their greedy plans
Then a man fined $ for environmental violations.
One of 13 millionaires in the General Assembly,
Yet lobbyists still fund meals and junkettes to Norway.
They’ll pen the op-eds submitted in his name.
Hell, they write all his bills. It’s all just the same.
Fined $400k for ripping off the Navy,
Only the beginning for his dealings quite shady.
Especially versed in making shit up,
Frank’s latest scam may be his death cup.
Last week in committee he declared it with glee,
“I’ve worked out an agreement with NASA and DOD”.
Drill, baby, drill. Screw Sec. Salazar.
We’ll simply avoid certain blocks in the lease area.
Yet DOD officials involved with OCS matters
Deny such discussions, alleged agreement in shatters.
Avoiding certain areas is an unacceptable solution.
It’s illegal, lacks legal standing, violates constitution.
So let’s compel him to produce alleged DOD agreement,
Coz all along their opposition has been vehement.
It’s again typical of a Frank Wagner “truth”.
As the Navy stands between him and his pie-in-the-sky loot.
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February 22nd, 2010 at 1:26 am
I’m all in favor of creative stuff like this when it’s done well. This was not done well, and as a result it makes you look crazy. When you write a simple poem like this, you should make sure that your syllables-per-line count is at least reasonably consistent between lines that are supposed to rhyme, and more importantly, you should make sure that the lines which are supposed to rhyme *actually rhyme.* The lines I’ve copied and pasted below either (a) only rhyme if you pronounce one of the words incorrectly (reward/yard), emphasize an unusual syllable (king/minING), or, most often, do not rhyme at all (participation/decision).
I understand that you were probably in a hurry but this is painful to read and it probably would have taken you much less time just to write an interesting couple of paragraphs on the issue. In the future, if you don’t want to commit to a project like this, you just shouldn’t do it – unless you want your message to get lost because your readers are just unwilling to suffer through the medium.
Oh all the riches on him they’ll reward
With juicy big contracts to his polluting ship yard.
For he is Frank Wagner, Virginia’s Energy King!
How dare you speak out against uranium mining,
Don’t bother with silly citizen participation.
Only the rich have voices in policy decision.
Erupting in anger, getting red in the face,
Perhaps noticeable signs of a need for AA.
But who better to champion their greedy plans
Then a man fined $ for environmental violations.
One of 13 millionaires in the General Assembly,
Yet lobbyists still fund meals and junkettes to Norway.
Drill, baby, drill. Screw Sec. Salazar.
We’ll simply avoid certain blocks in the lease area.
So let’s compel him to produce alleged DOD agreement,
Coz all along their opposition has been vehement.
It’s again typical of a Frank Wagner “truth”.
As the Navy stands between him and his pie-in-the-sky loot.
February 22nd, 2010 at 4:45 am
I’ll admit that the meter is off in a few places. Will try to correct. Don’t agree on the rhyming however. Few modern poems do.
February 22nd, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Ah, my mistake. If you weren’t trying to rhyme, there’s no need to rhyme, obviously. So many of the lines do rhyme that I mistakenly thought you intended for all of them to rhyme.
May 12th, 2010 at 4:51 am
[...] author unfortunately left out the role Sen. Frank Wagner played. The oil-soaked Bush Administration ate up all the lies and half-truths he served their [...]